Cumerdale Classifieds

 $22 - $25 / hr + Production Bonus

Immediate openings for day and evening sorting shifts during peak harvest. Fast-paced, clean environment. Daily catered hot lunch.

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Need reliable sitter for three kids, weekend evenings. Must be comfortable with large dogs, a drafty house, and flickering lights. Do not mind if the youngest talks to the coat rack. $10/hour cash. Call Mrs. Henderson at 555-555-0144. 

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Local pizza joint needs a driver with their own reliable car and a strong stomach for backroads. Must know Route 7 and not ask questions about why certain mailboxes are wrapped in tin foil. Apply in person at Main Street Diner after 9 PM. Ask for Sal. 

Prices based on Size/Condition 

Yes, momma Dee is starting to retire and cutting back on her pickle production. Many awards have been won using these, her prized posessions. Come and take a look, try to haggle. Meet on Saturday the 19th after 10am at her pickling kitchen. If you don't know where that is, you aren't welcome.

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I may even pay you to take him.

 I have a mean mangy male dog, neutered, and up to date on his shots. He's a biter which makes him a great guard dog. 555-555-1192 

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$6 each

We are offering these to our friends and neighbors before processing at the end of the month, or at least that's the plan. We have a few particularly cocky cocks that are too much for our gals. We have Rhode Island Red, Cornish, Orpington, and Sussex. Call Jed 555-555-3693

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$25 each

Full Color community cookbook, which has several large pictures and over 300 new recipes. This helps us raise money for new band uniforms and our cheer girl's magaphones. Help us make noise at our games! Go Cukes!! Donations also accepted at the school's registrar's office. Contact Shirley at any game or practice. Cash or check only.

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Prices will be posted- Vehicles will be auctioned

Old Bickel Estate off Kesterson Hill. Friday thru Monday, 8am-3pm each day. NO HOLDS. Silent bids on the cars, you know the ones were selling and how Pops felt about them; well maintained and all running!! Winning bid on the vehicles will be announced Monday at 3:10pm, winner must be present and have cash in hand. You all know that we need to probate this estate asap!

Listed below are reports and discussions that involve our community on a small/large scale. This is a place to help curb gossip by keeping us all informed on what's happening in our beloved community. 

Sue and Sam have welcomed Cletus, Clara, and Clyde into their family on Monday. All are doing well and expected to go home from the hospital by Friday. Doc Martin says that it's best to let them rest and adjust for a few weeks; that means NO dropping by to say Hi and meet the town's first set of triplets. If you signed up to provide the family with a meal, reach out to Betsy at the mayor's office to help make it easier on the family. June Miller was the winner for the day and time, with a final betting pool of $1575.00. Doc can confirm that even though she is his assistant, she had no effect on the inducement choice of day or time to help her win. She plans to give half of her winnings to the Jones' for diapers.

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Our Lady of Goodbyes invites the community! Join us this weekend in the parish hall for our annual charity bazaar and bake sale. Come browse homemade pies, breads, preserves, and handcrafted goods. All proceeds go directly toward our local community outreach fund to help families in need across the valley. Bring a friend, support a good cause, and stock up on the best homemade treats in town. Doors open Saturday at 9:00 AM. 

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 Ugly, hairless, and answers to a name he probably doesn't deserve. Resembles a bad cross between a hairless rat and a small gargoyle. Last seen wandering near the old ravine on the edge of town. If spotted, do not try to feed it raw meat or corner it after dark. Please call the number on the poster or drop a note at the Gazette office. Reward offered (mostly in relief).